— Things I Wish My Mother Had Taught Me (via iamnamelessgem)
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
“their cocks nestled together”
“nuzzled his cock”
“his cock bobbed up and down”
why the fuck do people always describe penises like cute little animals I’m trying to read porn but I just keep imagining puppies
This is honestly the best thing I have ever seen.